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 Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, part 2

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Rachelle41
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Rachelle41


Posts : 269
WL Points : 28853
Join date : 2010-02-26
Age : 26
Location : Witts End.

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, part 2 Empty
PostSubject: Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, part 2   Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, part 2 EmptySat Sep 18, 2010 11:18 am

Dear Diary,
This is probably the one place on earth that you absolutly have to have a backbone. I've never really had one, but I'm going to devlop one if I stay here. Joyce was acting really weird today. It's only like, the 2nd week of school, so what does she have to be so sad about? She did a really good job of covering her feelings up, though. She went around all day smileing, acting as if nothing was wrong. The one time her emotions actually showed was when out homeroom teacher mentioned that we would get to go to work with one of our parents. Then Mrs. Bucker asked some people to list what their parents did. I actually raised my hand and said my dad worked as a real estate agent. A few girls laughed, of course. Joyce didn't raise her hand, but I'm sure she had a good answer. At lunch she said that my father had just about the most normal job in the city. Apperently everyone here does something in the music industry, so I am a rare thing indeed. I really wish she wouls open up to me;that I could help her. However, she doesn't seem to want help. Or maybe she does, but doesn't want to dump a burden on me. She's so sweet, maybe to sweet if she doesn't want to cause a problem for anyone. I need to think about i can help her. at;east now she has a friend. I don't think she had one before i came along. Maybe this is the place I was meant to be.
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Luv2Type
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Luv2Type


Posts : 402
WL Points : 31614
Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 26
Location : Atlanta, Geogria

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, part 2 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, part 2   Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, part 2 EmptySat Sep 18, 2010 11:34 am

You need to start watching some of your spelling and grammer Rachelle. It makes stuff harder to read. You need a space after that semi colon for example, as well as some if you i's need to be caped. And I saw a word in there: wouls. What the heck is that? Remeber to be clearer when you type! But I think it's good. However, you could make them a little longer. But still, good job!
Love,
Luv
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Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, part 2
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