Arrow
Instructor
Posts : 122
WL Points : 28498
Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 26
Location : Stalking my next prey >:)
 |  Subject: Arrow of the Silver Moons Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:49 pm | |
| Arrow Crouched low in the tall grass. The silver grasses whispering touches warned her of the danger arriving but she already knew. She pick up her staff and willed it to it's form. Arrow could feel the weight of the staff shift into a familiar shape. When she glanced at the staff again she saw that it had shifted into a longbow. The perfect weapon. When she reached into her satchel, she closed her hand around a long arrow with 4 feathers fro The Oberus Owl. They draw near dear archer. She thanked the grasses once more glad to be chosen by the god of all things living and dead. She rose her long bow into a comfortable position while still lying amongst the grasses and strung the arrow. She aimed at the enemie nearest to her. It was dressed in a red robe which clearly stands against the wildlife here. Nut as she stretch the the string back to aim , A sharp crack erupts from beneath me. Oh roasted toasted almonds! But just then a silver owl hoots close by. It hoots loudly. She notice it's silver feathers right away and can't help but let a smile ease onto her face. | |
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LightYin
New Member
Posts : 2
WL Points : 26036
Join date : 2010-02-23
Age : 27
| | Subject: Re: Arrow of the Silver Moons Tue Feb 23, 2010 6:00 pm | |
| i really like it! There's just a few problems, you switch from saying she and her to me, you forgot to put a y in enemy, and you switch from past tense to present tense. Other than those really small mistakes it's amazing!!!  | |
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Luv2Type
Instructor
Posts : 402
WL Points : 31669
Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 27
Location : Atlanta, Geogria
| | Subject: Re: Arrow of the Silver Moons Thu Feb 25, 2010 4:04 pm | |
| Arrow's a person right? Can I geta little more info about her, the scene, stuff like that. But picking up in the middle of the action is a very good writing technique. My L.A teacher said so and I agree. Remember to fill in the past as you go along! And I agree with what the other person said (sorry I forgot your name). Switched times and words and stuff. But its good. Keep going! | |
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| | Subject: Re: Arrow of the Silver Moons | |
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