Posts : 315 WL Points : 130748 Join date : 2010-02-20 Age : 30 Location : Wandering around in Wonderland (Tis what I do best)
Subject: What Happens When You Agree Sun Feb 21, 2010 6:08 pm
I thought that you were lonely, I guess I couldn't see, That what had become of you, Had become of me
You were the one that started, And then I tagged along, My world and I thought it was right, But I knew that It was wrong
You really dissapoint me now, Because you know I see, That what has become of you, Has become of me.
Luv2Type Instructor
Posts : 402 WL Points : 32659 Join date : 2010-02-22 Age : 27 Location : Atlanta, Geogria
Subject: Dear Cheez, Mon Feb 22, 2010 7:08 pm
Thats a really, I mean REALLY good poem. I have one about a lonely cowboy that I might post. You write good poems. Keep doing it!
Grin-with-Cheese New Member
Posts : 6 WL Points : 26926 Join date : 2010-02-22 Age : 31 Location : I am a figment of your imagination.
Subject: Re: What Happens When You Agree Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:59 am
Heh, you may as well wear a badge that says "I come from YWS!"
Now, I think that you've over-punctuated this. It happens a lot in poetry, where there are a few too many breaks that means the poem is harder to understand. Don't get rid of all the punctuation, but some of it should probably go - read it aloud and you'll understand what I mean.
Otherwise, I really enjoyed it. You have an excellent poem here.
Well done, my dear. ~Grin
TheNewHero Instructor
Posts : 54 WL Points : 28112 Join date : 2010-02-21 Location : South Africa
Subject: Well done. Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:42 am
You should install a LIKE or GOLD STAR button here
No complaints.
grace1096 Junior Writer
Posts : 47 WL Points : 27665 Join date : 2010-02-22 Age : 28 Location : Over the river and through the woods
Subject: Re: What Happens When You Agree Sat Mar 13, 2010 11:38 am
Oooohhhh........ Interesting. I like this! Don't you change a thing, cheez_burger! Aw. Now I'm hungry for McDonalds!
Subject: What Happens When You Agree 
