Solace for Solitude (Lost)

A/N: Okay, I'm an honest person, so I'll tell you straight out I'm not too sure of this piece. I wrote it without ANY background music (WOT?!), this title is last-minute awfulness (HELP) and so is the last sentence (IHATEITIHATEITIHATEIT please help?). Please? ;.; I'll probably make the title some discreet song title, but as for the last sentence and this piece as a whole... I just don't know. Oh, and this is Lost fanfiction, by the way, but it's before the crash of Flight 815, so if you haven't watched Lost, that's perfectly fine.

"I can't do this any longer, Charlie. I won't." Lotty clenched the thin, scratchy sheets that covered most of her body with her fists, trying to convey her will through her steady blue gaze. Charlie's eyes wouldn't raise to meet hers; instead, they glanced shamedly down at the tiled floor. His hands were clenched nearly as tightly as her own.

"I... I need it, Lo - Charlotte. Just... just one more time, please." His gaze was shaky, but it still managed to meet hers at last, and the faint, pleading look she found there was nearly enough to shatter her resolve. Nearly. Too many times she'd given in to her childhood friend; no longer could she help him destroy his life.

"You may as well call me Lotty, Charlie. Charles isn't around anymore..." The thought made her a bit sad. Charles had always looked out for her, and she had loved him dearly. "And I'll be joining him soon enough."

Charlie took a sharp step towards her bedside, his jaw working as though he intended to speak, but he froze in that position, probably muddling through his swirling thoughts. Lotty had felt the same thing when Charles first vanished: denial. "You can't... you won't... you couldn't be..." No matter how many times he tried, Charlie couldn't get the words out as he wanted them. But Lotty knew what he meant to say; she always did.

"I am."

"But you--"

A glare from her was enough to silence him. "I'm not immortal, Charlie, nobody is. I'll give you the money--"

"But--"

"And in return, you can write me a song." The corners of her lips lifted in a half-grin at his dumbfounded expression. "Oh, surprised that I'm making you give me something back, eh, Charlie? You shouldn't be. It's always been equal exchange with me, hasn't it?"

She assumed his pained grimace was Charlie's attempt at smiling back at her. It seemed neither of them could quite manage the expression. Charlie was the first to give up, though, and stumbled his way into the chair by her bedside. Now, that made her smile, truly; that chair had been empty for far too long.

"Why... why now?" He finally asked, once again avoiding her gaze by staring at his hands, clasped on the sheets before him.

"Whatever do you mean?" She knew very well what he meant; she just wanted him to ask it outright.

"Why do you want a song now, after all this time? What makes you think Liam will even consider recording one for you?"

Her lips twitched into a frown at the mention of Liam. Liam - handsome, charming, witty Liam, conniving, destructive, hopeless Liam. Once, she had cared for him, thought of him as a brother, even. Now, looking at Charlie - Charlie, with his swollen eyes, the dark bruises beneath them, Charlie, with his shaking hands, his nerves frayed by chemicals, Charlie, with his dangerous, deadly, deteriorative addiction - Lotty could not bring herself to forgive Liam. Perhaps, with time, she could find it in her heart to move past his transgression, but as it was, she did not have that time.

"I want you to sing it, Charlie. It'll come easier to you than writing a stuffy old eulogy, I know," she chuckled, flicking his forehead affectionately.

This time, she was the one who found herself unable to meet his gaze. "The money's in my wallet, Charlie. Take it and go."

"But! Lotty, there's no way - that bleeding doctor said... He said you had months, maybe even a year! It... it can't be!" She watched his hands shake, and could hear his voice do the same, but she did not look at his face. For many long years, they had been friends, and for a short few - before the diagnosis - they had been more.

If tears were in his eyes, those depthless navy pools that so matched her own, she knew her composure would shatter. "Things change, Charlie." And then, she could look away no longer; those words, thought for so long, and now finally spoken, had destroyed the dam restraining her emotions. "People change."

The air between them was ripe with tension. The moment was do or die - literally. His actions would decide both of their futures.

He reached for her hand... And withdrew, instead snatching up her wallet as he ran out of the building.

~Tobi
~I WILL KILL YOU, FINAL SENTENCE... Now do you see why I require assistance?
~I think I did okay... I like the chemistry between Lotty and Charlie, and I like my portrayal of him.
~This is set in the beautiful country of England, so if there's any slang I missed, feel free to correct me.
~Only one more! About the final sentence; I might go multichapter fic with this, in which case I'll hire a beta, but in the meanwhile, I want to be able to interpret this as either she's dead or they just don't meet again until Flight 815...
EDIT: I just took out that last sentence, seeing as I will definitely be continuing this (I've started, actually...).

So sad, but very well written. I liked it, the characters seemed accurate to what I've seen of Lost, which isn't very much, mind you. Please contiue if this was more than a one shot. If not, you did very well. But I don't see anything wrong with the final sentence.

Awww, thank you very much Catherine~! And you should know, sad is my specialty. I have a difficult time writing things that AREN'T sad. D; Haha, I haven't seen much of Lost, either. I've gone through about two-thirds of the episodes in the first season. ;D But I know everything there is to know about Charlie! And Charlotte, seeing as I created her. There is actually a character named Charlotte, which is sort of a problem, but I can't change her name, so... Lol, I'm so long-winded. XD Actually, the final sentence is perfect now because I took it out - before, there was another final sentence that I hated with a burning passion. And this is not a one shot! I have the first chapter written already, though this is not the official title. Any ideas there? ;D

Oh, and I misspelled "forehead", though I'm about to correct it...XD I can't believe no one jumped on that. Clearly, you all have my skim-style attention span, in which words do not sink in until you've read them a third time...

~Tobi