Where you wander around, review, and post your literary works!
 
HomeRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 The Guardians: Part 2

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
cheez_burger
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 315
WL Points : 118093
Join date : 2010-02-20
Age : 23
Location : Wandering around in Wonderland (Tis what I do best)

PostSubject: The Guardians: Part 2   Tue Apr 20, 2010 7:08 pm

Time then went by in slow motion. All I really remember was the Eurynomus's claws on my shoulders, digging into my skin. I remember being seized just above the drop, as if magic was holding me there. But it wasn't magic. It was Fir's hand. She dragged me back over the cliff, up to safety.
"What were you thinking?!" She cried when I got up. "You can't go wandering into the forest on your first day of training!"
She sighed, looking me over. I knew how I looked. Dirty, dusty, and probably what the cat dragged in yesterday during lunch.
"Come with me," She muttered. "Elm will want to hear about this."
Oh, no. I had to distract her. "Fir, if that Eurynomus was living in our forest, there will be more. You and I both know that they live and travel in packs, and--"
"Hazel, that isn't our biggest problem right now," She interrupted, dragging me along.
I let her take me, because she was right. There was something bigger going on. Something much bigger, stirring within the bowels of the earth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Back to top Go down
http://wonderlands.darkbb.com
okipoki
Instructor
Instructor
avatar

Posts : 22
WL Points : 14971
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 21
Location : Like you need to know!

PostSubject: Re: The Guardians: Part 2   Tue Apr 20, 2010 7:25 pm

Oh! Nice follow-up! I like the cute bit of humor about "what the cat dragged in yesterday." Pretty names too. Fir, Hazel, Elm, I think there should be a Malinda in there somewhere, or a Drake. You don't have to, but that'd be cool if you did. I was amazed to see that this Hazel character was only a trainee! That was an interesting twist that I'm sure will take this story far. Please ma'am, may I have some more? Smile Flawless is all I can say now.
Back to top Go down
Luv2Type
Instructor
Instructor
avatar

Posts : 402
WL Points : 20004
Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 20
Location : Atlanta, Geogria

PostSubject: Re: The Guardians: Part 2   Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:53 pm

I like it. But how did Fir rescue her?Was there a little cranny in the cliff that Fir was in so that she could catch anything that dropped? Or did she just scare away that E thing. How do you even say it. And it wasn't as cliff hanging at the first, but still good!
Back to top Go down
grace1096
Junior Writer
Junior Writer
avatar

Posts : 47
WL Points : 15010
Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 21
Location : Over the river and through the woods

PostSubject: Re: The Guardians: Part 2   Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:06 pm

Hee hee... BOWELS! Rolling Eyes
Anyways, so far, this is a GREAT book! It reminds me of our project together for some reason... Wink I like how each part is short, because like most teens, I have the attention span of a worm. All the parts also make it easier to not spend an hour reading the entire novel! We can just read a few parts and come and read more later. I'll be sure to keep that in mind when I start writing my novel! (Yes, I do have one planned, but I want some private advice before I get started, so PM me please!)

Write On,
Grace1096
flower
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: The Guardians: Part 2   

Back to top Go down
 
The Guardians: Part 2
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» what is (or was) your least favorite part of high school?
» Feeler for Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham F/S or part out
» Leftovers from 8 Impala part-outs...lots of good stuff left!
» Henry's pick a part in blackstone last minute trip
» Temporary vs Part Time Vs Full Time

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Wonderland :: Literary :: Prose-
Jump to: