Liraz (Working Title) Page 1

Liraz
Prologue
The enchanting, magical world of Liraz is hidden behind every mirror of our world and the secrets of it can be found in our everyday objects. It hides darkness beyond imagine of deathly wizards and sorceresses, fairies find refuge there, while impossible creatures such as dwarves and dragons are commonplace. The people are from different time periods and cultures, with clothing and styles never seen on our earth and with wings of feathers and magical lace. Everything is mystic-the good and the bad. And it is a world that children should not enter-but a princess named Ana Edith Lee, secretly hidden in our world, can enter. Her mother Regina Selene Lee (the queen of the meadows) has also hidden in our world, in New York City. Ana grew up as normal as ever, though her imaginary friends were some of the secrets inside our own world and were therefore real to her. This continued until middle school, when teachers became concerned that she lived with fairies like a child. They suggested therapy and counseling, but Regina knew the truth. Her daughter was mixing elements of their world with elements of our world-and the affect was causing problems. Mustering her strength, she returned to Liraz, defeating the evil king that had taken her place. And thus she raised Ana there, from age eleven till she was fifteen.
Chapter One
“Belle!” Ana flew through the air, her feathers flapping strong until she collided with her friend and they went tumbling through the air, laughing and spinning.
“You’re crazy!” Belle gasped for air. “Isn’t your mother upset that you’re missing lessons?”
“She doesn’t know! Come on, I want to visit the ocean.”
“Your mother-”
“Forget my mother, let’s visit some place new. Mother only lets me travel through the forests and the meadows.”
“But we went to the mountains last week and those trolls at the bridge almost killed us! I don’t want to go that way again.” Belle shuddered.
“We don’t have to go that way. I heard there’s a little creek you can just fly over down another path, through the forest. You could get us through in a snap.”
“Then they’d tell my mother!”
“So?”
“She’s the first lady of the forest court beneath the queen. She can’t have her daughter publicly recognized, taking the meadow’s princess to someplace forbidden. She’s send me into the human world for punishment!”
“Oh, it’s not that bad. I lived there for eleven years.”
“But my eligibility for the match maker-human world experience doesn’t look good. It shows you’ve been disgraceful. Except for you of course.”
“You’re fifteen; the match maker won’t be summoned till the eve of your seventeenth birthday. You have time for fun and adventure.”
“A year that could be spent on picnics with you, or trying not to die in the human world. They say it’s much easier to die there.”

Um, okay. No offense or anything, but we can't really get a good feel for the piece if you only post a page like this. Maybe you should've posted a little more, so we could get more into it. I like how you made it more grown up with teenage characters and that fact that Liraz isn't safe for children. It makes the reader feel like this isn't going to be a peachy fairytale. But since you've made it seem evil, make sure to put some actually in it, not little worries like 'will the prince love me?', you made it a teenage book, make sure it deals with those kinds of problems, even though it is a 'magical world'.

Ok, I'll post some more soon anyways. The girls here are faced with a 'teenage' problem and if you really focus, the same problem is present in our world. I'll try to encorpurate evil too. Thats always fun.