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 "I Am"

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Posts : 269
WL Points : 19243
Join date : 2010-02-26
Age : 21
Location : Witts End.

PostSubject: "I Am"   Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:22 pm

We had to write this poem in my English class, so here it is.

I understand that anything is possible.
I say what needs to be said.
I try to be the best I can be.
I hope I leave a mark on the world.
I am a person like everyone else.

I pretend to be famous almost everyday.
I feel that I can help the world someday.
I touch the hearts of anyone who is close.
I worry about the future.
I cry when life doesn't meet my expectations.
I am a person lik everyone else.

I am a person like everyone else.
I wonder what my future will be like.
I hear the talk and worry of adults.
I see the pain of the world.
I want to help the world any way I can.
I am a person like everyone else.

This was how I had to write the poem, so it wasn't my choice. However, I chose the words,obviosly.
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Posts : 402
WL Points : 22004
Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 21
Location : Atlanta, Geogria

PostSubject: Re: "I Am"   Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:37 pm

Not too bad. I Am A Person might have been a better title, but I Am is still pretty good. The words don't completely click in a way that'll give the reader an 'aha!' moment, but you can tell they were choosen carefully. Also, you were forced to write this (techncially) and forced poetry is never as good as wanted poetry. All in all, its rather good and needs some improvement.
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