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 A love poem

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Arrow
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PostSubject: A love poem   Wed Dec 29, 2010 10:51 pm

I whisper in your ear
watching your eyes watch me,
Your eyes brighten at me
I am frozen by you

Your very smile
stops my heart,
I look for amusement in your eyes
yet I find kindness instead

You lean forward
your eyes watch mine,
I see your dark mocha skin
I admire it

Your lips touch my jaw
soft and delicate,
I enjoy this
I imagine you do to

You return to my gaze
and I to yours,
You amaze
I should say

But my words might ruin
this effortless silence,
Our moment
unchecked by reality

My eyes say I see you
yours say it too
My heart thumps I love you
I hope yours does

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, This might not be my best. It' hard for me, it's my first love poem. I'd love comments PLEASE! Tips would be greatly appreciated.
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Rachelle41
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PostSubject: Re: A love poem   Thu Dec 30, 2010 10:59 pm

Vey lovely and very nice, Arrow, it was very pretty. Was this one of those poems that you just type up on the computer randomly? Or was it carefully thought out, each word agonized over, so it would be exactly right, a work of art? Each type of poems can be beautiful and full of emotion, just as your is. It is descriptive, yet subtle in it's description. Not lovey-dovey, but not rock hard seriousness, either. It has a light seriousness, with a river of love flowing under it's surface, like a frozen over creek. The water runs under it, beautiful by itself, and yet the clear, wavy, rainbow and crystel filled ice only adds to its beauty. I hope your poems get even more amazing an that you continue to work hard.
-Rachelle41 I love you
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Arrow
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PostSubject: Re: A love poem   Fri Dec 31, 2010 12:19 am

Thank you sooo much. I really did agonize over this trying to make it perfect when I realized I actually know nothing about love poems..... So thank you sooooooo much! it means a lot to me





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Arrow Byrd
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Rachelle41
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PostSubject: Re: A love poem   Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:15 am

We think we don't know things that we might actually know. Like I didn't think I liked writing, or good be good at it, but look at me now. You just have to have the courage to step out on a limb, and amazing things can happen. I didn't think I could write poetry, either, but when I did make some up quickly from the inspiration from other poems, people said "oh, I reallly like that," or "that's very nice and pretty." Amazing things can happen when you just try, and you did, and it was wonderful, so keep on trying. It's not like you can get worse, you can only get better!
-Rachelle41 I love you
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