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 Sol Travesty

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Tobi-chan
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PostSubject: Sol Travesty   Sat Aug 28, 2010 10:48 pm

Why does the sun sit high above the sky?
Far behind the clouds,
It shrouds us in darkness

Why does it mock us so?
We cry and pray for the sun to return,
Yet it simply rests upon its blanket of clouds,
So close to giving us light,
And yet so far...

We stare up at the dark sky
We search for one small parting in the clouds
So that we may taste the sunlight


Yet there are no partings
And the sun still rests so far above us,
Mockingly.

I don't think that's the best of titles, but it was all I could think of...Anybody got a better suggestion?

~Tobi~




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is like thunder; powerful, confusing, wonderous, loud, inexplainable, sudden, beautiful in ways you can't even begin to describe, and completely unexpected. Death is like lightning; it strikes even the most powerful things, and shoots through the ground to everyone nearby, leaving them with only a painful aftershock.

Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.

Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.


Last edited by Tobi-chan on Sun Aug 29, 2010 7:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rachelle41
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PostSubject: I'm replying!   Sun Aug 29, 2010 2:44 pm

I'm going to contridict you, Tobi. I think that's a perfect title. It explains that even though we can long for something, it can feel so close, yet far away at the same time. I know that sounds confusing, but I think it's true. By the way, great job.
-Rachelle41












Love is sacrifice and sacrifice is love. For you cannot love, yet not be willing to give of yourself. However, if you are willing to give of yourself, then you undoubtedly love in some state.
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Luv2Type
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PostSubject: Re: Sol Travesty   Sun Aug 29, 2010 3:07 pm

I think it's really good too. Perhaps. . . Mockingly? Something with mocking? I mean, it's mentioned in the begining and the end, so something to do with it'd be good. I think. Keep trying though! How about looking up 'mocking' in another language?
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NikkiSwift
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PostSubject: Re: Sol Travesty   Sun Aug 29, 2010 4:00 pm

Hmm. The Shrouds of Darkness? XD I don't know. It was the first thing that popped into my head. If only night was longer than day. The stars are so mysterious.

~Nikki
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PostSubject: Re: Sol Travesty   Sun Aug 29, 2010 4:54 pm

Woah. I like those two last sentences Nikki. But I'm still drawing a blank Tobi. Sorry.
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Tobi-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Sol Travesty   Sun Aug 29, 2010 7:22 pm

XD Wow, I so wasn't expecting so many responses...Thanks ya'll~! Well, how does Sol Travesty sound? Sol is a synonym for Sun, and Travesty is a synonym for Mockery. I just liked the way those two sounded together...XD Whaddya'll think?

~Tobi~

I hath gained a country accent in my travels...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is like thunder; powerful, confusing, wonderous, loud, inexplainable, sudden, beautiful in ways you can't even begin to describe, and completely unexpected. Death is like lightning; it strikes even the most powerful things, and shoots through the ground to everyone nearby, leaving them with only a painful aftershock.

Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.

Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
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Rachelle41
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PostSubject: I'm replying again!   Sun Aug 29, 2010 8:04 pm

I like what you did to the title, and it's meaning. You did a really great job, Tobi. Keep it up!
-Rachelle41
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