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 Running With Wolves: Part Five

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cheez_burger
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PostSubject: Running With Wolves: Part Five   Mon Aug 16, 2010 5:23 pm

What the hell. WHAT the HELL. What is THIS!? WHY AM I AN ANIMAL! WHAT THE HELL! I swung my head around wildly and tried to find Jake, but he was nowhere in site. Wait...was that a movement? I looked toward the garage and saw a russet-colored wolf emerge from beside it. I growled and took a sniff. Wait...Jake? What was going on? Should I bring myself back to what the hell? I thought about all the things I'd do to him if he didn't explain right now.
Well that's not very nice. An echo sounded in my head. What the hell? I tipped my head and saw Jake giving me a teasing smile.
WHAT THE HELL, JAKE! If you don't explain to me what is going on RIGHT NOW, I'LL--
You'll what, Sarah? Rip my head of? You have no chance against an experienced werewolf. The echo sounded in my head once again. I glared at him and cursed him out in my head big time. i even dropped an F bomb a time or two. All he did was stand there and chuckle.

So I lunged.

What the hell?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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Tobi-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Running With Wolves: Part Five   Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:49 pm

Hoho, great as usual, cheez. Although the pace is a bit fast; if you put it all together, it would kind of run through very quickly. Also, "WHY AM I AN ANIMAL?!" should have a question mark, 'cause it's a question. And it should be "nowhere in sight". Site is like a website or a campsite. I just love all the cussing in this~! X3 Haha, it is a nice chapter, though you should develop the main character more. We haven't seen all the little facets of her personality just yet, so keep that in mind. And if you happen to give her a little very-near-death (or possibly death-resurrection) situation....I would love you forever! As a friend. But it would still be love! XD

Sorry, my weirdness. Really, though, endangering the guy does nothing to help their relationship other than make the girl all desperate-looking. Plus, we want to keep our Jakie in tip-top condition. XDDD

~Tobi~

Lovely, though. Your writing is quite good, and you have a very nice style. I can definitely hear your "voice" in your writing~!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is like thunder; powerful, confusing, wonderous, loud, inexplainable, sudden, beautiful in ways you can't even begin to describe, and completely unexpected. Death is like lightning; it strikes even the most powerful things, and shoots through the ground to everyone nearby, leaving them with only a painful aftershock.

Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.

Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
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