Where you wander around, review, and post your literary works!
 
HomeRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Running With Wolves: Part Three

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
cheez_burger
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 315
WL Points : 117788
Join date : 2010-02-20
Age : 23
Location : Wandering around in Wonderland (Tis what I do best)

PostSubject: Running With Wolves: Part Three   Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:46 pm

As we pulled into the gravel drive leading to his house, I looked at all the parts of cars and junk bikes laying outside Jake's garage. As I looked at the rusty fenders, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Looking over toward the forest, I saw five guys, all about Jake's age, in cutoffs with no shirts. They were laughing and shouting at Jake, and I looked over to see him smiling at something, probably an inside joke. He told them he'd be out later when they shouted something about unfinished business, and we headed into the garage.
"Stay here, I gotta call the pizza place." He murmered. "And try not to kill yourself with the screwdrivers."
"There's only so mush a girl can resist." I laughed. He trodded through the door leading to his kitchen, and I looked around. I saw two motorbikes leaned up against the wood-paneled wall, aboviosly his latest project, with tools lying around them. My eyes drifted to the various tool boxes, all a deep red. And in the corner, he had a stack of clothes, folded and in a semi-neat pile. Out here? I felt my brow furrow in confusion, and then heard his voice.
"Gonna be here in 20 minutes." He sighed. He saw me staring at the clothes and laughed. "Wondering why I've got clothes in the garage?" He asked. I nodded slightly.
"You'll find out soon enough. Just hang around here." I ignored the mystery to the comment, and went to go sit in one of the folded chairs by the bikes. He sat down next to me and picked up a wrench, handing it to me. Then, he got one of his own.
"While you're here, you might as well make yourself useful."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Back to top Go down
http://wonderlands.darkbb.com
NikkiSwift
Honorable Writer
Honorable Writer
avatar

Posts : 225
WL Points : 16204
Join date : 2010-05-14
Age : 19
Location : Camp Half Blood ♥

PostSubject: Re: Running With Wolves: Part Three   Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:37 pm

Wow, girl! This is so awesome! I was so happy to see you didn't repeat words like said and 'yeah'. He he. . . I'm loving this fanfic so far.
Keep it up! We Taylor and Jacob fans. . . . Well, we take our man VERY seriously.
~Nikki
Back to top Go down
Arrow
Instructor
Instructor
avatar

Posts : 122
WL Points : 16528
Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 20
Location : Stalking my next prey >:)

PostSubject: Write More!!!!!   Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:49 pm

WRITE MORE
WRITE MORE
WRITE MORE
WRITE MORE
WRITE MORE
Back to top Go down
http://www. Elcheart.darkbb.com
Tobi-chan
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 360
WL Points : 17077
Join date : 2010-04-29
Age : 23
Location : Looking for a way out of Purgatory.

PostSubject: Re: Running With Wolves: Part Three   Sat Jul 17, 2010 8:13 pm

Very Happy Goodie, cheez-chama, goodie~! A few gramatical errors are immediately obvious, though. First off..."There's only so MUSH a girl can resist," should be, "There's only so MUCH a girl can resist,"~! That's a funny typo, though...XD Okay, and then, "I saw two motorbikes leaned up against the wooden wall, ABOVIOUSLY his latest project, with tools lying around them." That's not how you spell it....it's actually OBVIOUSLY. Now, don't stare at that word for too long or you'll hurt yourself. XD I speak from experience...And you could say the motorbikes were LEANING against the wooden wall, rather than leaned up, which sounds weird to me...

Otherwise, I'm really liking where you're taking this plotline. But with the discovery of Jacob's little furry problem (XD), arises a new problem, as far as plot is concerned. How will she take the news? I believe that authors will generally make their character accepting, but she could also freak out for a bit. Then again, if she's known him for that long, it's unlikely...It's still an option, though~! And a curious one at that~!

~Tobi~
This story has much much-ness so far~! Keep it up~!
Like a Star @ heaven alien Like a Star @ heaven Alienz...
clown MANA?! Shocked

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is like thunder; powerful, confusing, wonderous, loud, inexplainable, sudden, beautiful in ways you can't even begin to describe, and completely unexpected. Death is like lightning; it strikes even the most powerful things, and shoots through the ground to everyone nearby, leaving them with only a painful aftershock.

Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.

Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
Back to top Go down
http://radneto.tumblr.com
grace1096
Junior Writer
Junior Writer
avatar

Posts : 47
WL Points : 14705
Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 21
Location : Over the river and through the woods

PostSubject: Re: Running With Wolves: Part Three   Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:40 pm

Mmmm... Jacob Black rox my sox.

KEEP WRITING, GURL!!!

~Grace1096
flower
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Running With Wolves: Part Three   

Back to top Go down
 
Running With Wolves: Part Three
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» New tubes, ST-70 transformers running hot
» Running Lean
» what is (or was) your least favorite part of high school?
» "The Wolves" When Mary & Carrie fell. Injuries
» Men Running Around in Their B.V.D.s

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Wonderland :: Literary :: Prose-
Jump to: