Where you wander around, review, and post your literary works!
 
HomeRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 The People of Heaven

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
TheNewHero
Instructor
Instructor
avatar

Posts : 54
WL Points : 15327
Join date : 2010-02-21
Location : South Africa

PostSubject: The People of Heaven   Sat Jul 10, 2010 5:06 pm

The People of Heaven

Into the sinister alley,
Under rainfall,
Hail and howling wind,
Tearful mother,

Switchblade in the closet,
Hopeless case,
Tattered clothes on the clothes line,

Through the hallways,
Invisible, Inconspicuous alien,
With the rainbow banner,
Sick and perverted,

Head banged on the Porsche window,
Screams heard from the steam-room,
Busy parents too far to hear,

Desolated warehouse,
Fire flickers on the walls,
Smoke wisps in the air,
Coughs and giggles,

Conceived on the corner,
Highway, Byway kids,
Kids of children,

Are these the people of heaven?
Are these really Yours,
Why, oh God,
Do you show me these?

Am I totally confused?
Is this some false vision?
Or was I just wrong?
About everything?

Dear Lord,
Forgive me

--
Inspired by the song Wish You Well by Thousand Foot Krutch,
What did you think guys? Do the tenses concord?

Jesus loves you Very Happy Really.

And hey, when He looks at you, the last thing He thinks about is Hell. You're not this ugly stain on His wall that needs to be whitewashed Very Happy Otherwise why did He colour the world?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you ever need a review, feel free to message me.
Back to top Go down
Luv2Type
Instructor
Instructor
avatar

Posts : 402
WL Points : 19874
Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 20
Location : Atlanta, Geogria

PostSubject: Re: The People of Heaven   Thu Jul 22, 2010 6:36 pm

No offense Hero, but I don't really get this poem. I imagine things for one or two verses, then you switch the picture. It doesn't rhyme, which is refreshing since lots do, but overall I think it's kind of confusing. And I like the Jesus loves you part at the end too!
Love ya,
Luv
Back to top Go down
 
The People of Heaven
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» People who donated to the March/April fund raiser for Urth
» this funny Indian people
» Hey, people! Here I am! Vanesa, from Argentina!
» 'Garden of Heaven' published
» Are creative people the new peasants?

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Wonderland :: Literary :: Poetry-
Jump to: