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 Firelight (Straight from YWS)

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Join date : 2010-02-22
Age : 20
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PostSubject: Firelight (Straight from YWS)   Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:57 pm

Beautiful--
in the light,
on the contrary.

Scorned quickly to dirt,
burned silent to a speck,
barriers of emptiness remain,
nothing left intact.

Smoldering dances,
involuntary; you're pulled in,
rays of light,
jumping playfully.

Incapable reins won't drive it away.

An unstoppable rage,
thirstiness is revealed,
the flailing streams
kissing the air.

Slim to no refrain is shown,
as you're swallowed whole,
only a spark remains,
though fury rages on.

Memories shattered in remorse,
only sweet water
may quench its thirst;
none persists even in thought.

Quickly--
you run away,
but find yourself trapped in.
Reaching; grasping;
nothing is supportive.

You wish,
but still there is no
safe haven;
all that was,
is no more.

Silently--
you hide out,
but firelight is too
deathly,
it wrings you by the neck.

Grey wisps of lies
suffocatingly choking you;
a tear slides down your cheek,
irony, your mourns,
bringing sweet water.

Pain is screaming;
the burns that
have cut into your skin
make you cringe,
as you struggle to breathe.

You sit unconscious;
darkness enveloped
in brutal firelight,
there is no escape,
not here, not now.
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PostSubject: Re: Firelight (Straight from YWS)   Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:03 pm

Chilling.

I liked this very much. The only error I found was this:

your mourns

Either that should be "Your heart mourns" or "you mourn."
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