>:D (<== Apparently this was too short of a title. Now I just look stupid)

Write a story. About a man. Who has no life. And write the entire thing using only simple sentances.

There is a kid named Tom. Tom isn't very tall. He lies to me. Tom isn't my age. In fact, Tom isn't really anyone's age. He is pretty much invisible. Tom likes to talk. He likes to talk a lot. He talks a lot at school. That's where I met Tom. People nicknamed him Talkative Tom. He doesn't see why they nicknamed him that. I felt sorry for him. Yes, I felt sorry for Talkative Tom. Now I feel sorry for me. . . . .
Tom is my boyfriend.

~Nikki
FAIL

There is a person. The persons name is Shaun. He likes to write. He is gay. People tease him for that. It makes him sad. So Shaun moved. He moved to Canada. They do not make fun of him there. He has gay and straight friends. That makes him happy. Now Shaun is a happy man. He volunters to help gay kids. He impacts their lives. That makes the kids, and him, happy. Now everyone is happy. The end.
-Rachelle41
P.S. I hope that didn't sound like I was making fun of gays. Please don't take any offense.

Ed has no life. Ed was born somewhere. He lived somewhere. He died somewhere.
He was raised in a house somewhere. He had parents. They died some time. He had no siblings. HIs parents were poor. He was poor.
It was a small house. Ed did not go to school. He did not have friends. He never fell in love. He couldn't read or write. He didn't have a job. He was evicted from his parent's house. No one liked Ed. Ed didn't like anyone.
Ed had no licence or means of transportation. He couldn't afford a taxi. There were no buses in his neighborhood.
His neighborhood was an ally. He had no pets. He had no feelings for animals.
He did not have a speech impediment. He spoke a language.
He was of average intelligence. He was unaware of many things.
Ed never married. He never had children.
Ed died at an age.
He died in a place.
He died alone.


~Tobi~
~Sorry if that's really dark. I've been reading some pretty dark stuff lately...~

That's so sad, Tobi! Yes, it was very dark! But then again, I wrote about murder and hinted and rape, so I guess I shouldn't really be talking. But have you ever thought that maybe that story might be true?
-Rachelle41

Of course. It's a story that's probably true of very many people. I just happened to write it for this challenge on a whim.

~Tobi~
~Pssshhh, murder? What about wide-scale government corruption, eventually leading to various genocides and an attempt at controlling the world?~

I really like that. I've just never written anything remotly horroish, so it was a leap. Plus, the problem with world domination is making it belivable. The corrupt government you don't have to write about, just look in the news. Genocides might be interesting, though.
-Rachelle41

This is a story. The main character is Bob. His last name is Plain. His whole name is Bob Plain. He has no middle name. His parents are somewhere. He lives in a house. The house is small. He has a dog named Jack. It is a Jack Russell terrior. So his dog has a last name. His last name is not Plain. It is Russell. Bob didn't have a job. He had inherited the house. His parents payed the bills. He was twenty-five. He prayed. He went to church. He was good. Sometimes he sinned. But everybody sins. So he'd ask forginess. He couldn't sing. He wasn't smart. He hated cooking. He hated sweating. Bob was not fat. He took Jack on a walk one day. He saw a pretty lady.
"What is your name?" Bob asked.
"Isabella. Please call me Bella." She said.
"How old are you?" He asked.
"I am eighteen. Almost nineteen."
"Never mind. You are pretty."
Thank you."
"Can I kiss you?"
"No, freak!" She hit him with her purse.
Her purse had bricks in it. Bob was hurt. Jack ran away. Bella's brother-in-law killed Jack. Bob got better. He could not find Jack. He went to Forks. He walked around in the woods. He saw Bella.
"Hi." He said.
"Get away creep!" She yelled.
"I'm her husband." A man said.
"What is your name?"
"Edward."
"That's a weird name." Bob said.
Bob started to laugh.
"Shut up!" Edward said.
"Okay." Bob walked away.
He found his dead dog.
"Poor Jack."
He walked away. He cried. He was sad. He considered death. His pastor said 'no'. He stayed in his house. He watched for Bella. He never saw her. He ran out of food. He did not want to leave. So he didn't. He died. Bella was not sad. Edward was not sad. Bob was glad to see his dog. How? Bob went to Heaven. Jack went to Heaven. He was happy. Bella did not know. Edward did not know. His parents did not know. They buried him. The grave said 'Bob died. We are not sorry. Be happy.'
The end.

Luv, that's laugh out loud funny, but also slightly disturbing. Especally what was written on the gravestone. Oh well. It was funny. OH NO! I'M STARTING TO WRITE IN SIMEPLE SENTENCES!
-Rachelle41